Her Journey
by dubleohsev
Summary: FINAL CHAPTER IS NOW UP! Lily skips town to get away from the pain and expectancy placed upon her in Roscoe. While away she gets to meet an aunt and a town she hasn't visited since a girl. While she is there she also meets the true Lily Randall; the one o
1. Small Town Girl

**Disclaimer: Still don't own rfr. **

I knew the only way out of my cycle was to leave Roscoe. I had to leave behind Ray and the station. I no longer desired the pressures of being "The Lily Randall": the girl who put butts in seats down town at Mickey's.

The midnight moon and the buzzing of the coke machine filled the deserted train station and I waited for the train to arrive. I was so nervous, apprehensive, edgy, anxious to get out of the town that brought me both joy and pain but at the moment, the bad outweighed the good.

Travis was the only person I trusted to tell I was leaving. He was sympathetic but I guess didn't quite understand. He had been moving his whole live… not even moving really: he had been running. He secretly knew that I was uneasy and I knew he knew it. Travis thinks I need to face my problems in Roscoe; that I would find no better place… I just have to find that out on my own.

I boarded the train to Ontario and found a seat in the back where I could siesta in seclusion. I pulled out my phone and discovered a message from Travis. I clicked okay, held it up to my ear, and slumped into the seat.

"Good luck on your _journey_, Lily", he started.

It was so good to hear his voice even though I had spoken to him a mere twenty minutes before I left the station with my backpack full of clothes, my favorite guitar, and the $47 I had left over from my birthday.

"I have something that might help you find your way home", he continued.

I was expecting a Buddha quote from the little swami but instead he did something I never expected.

_Just a small town girl, livin' in a lonely world  
She took the midnight train goin' anywhere_

_Just a city boy, born and raised in south detroit  
He took the midnight train goin' anywhere_

He recorded my favorite song over my voice mail. I know he did it hoping I would come home. I have to get away from the people, the smells, the giant pitchfork, the lonely observation deck, and Mickey's oh so famous hot chocolate. I had to get out.

_A singer in a smokey room  
A smell of wine and cheap perfume  
For a smile they can share the night  
It goes on and on and on and on _

Strangers waiting, up and down the boulevard  
Their shadows searching in the night  
Streetlight people, living just to find emotion  
Hiding, somewhere in the night

Working hard to get my fill,  
Everybody wants a thrill  
Payin' anything to roll the dice,  
Just one more time  
Some will win, some will lose  
Some were born to sing the blues  
Oh, the movie never ends  
It goes on and on and on and on

_Don't stop believin'  
Hold on to the feelin'  
Streetlight people_

"Story of my life", I thought as I drifted off into an amazing sleep and the train plowed on.


	2. Dreams of Flames and Borgs

**Disclaimer: I don't own RFR or any characters… (Oh, and for the last chapter) I don't own the band Journey or any of their songs. I also don't own Star Trek. **

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**_Caalan4rfr_: Thanks for being so supportive… I really like your stories too! And thanks for reminding me about the disclaimer… I had a brain lapse. **

**_Allie-Dee_: Thanks for seeing the reality. Glad you are enjoying it. **

**_Minute-Obsessions_: Looks like you get more:) **

"Good Morning, passengers," The driver announced over the bus' intercom, waking Lily from her nightmarish sleep.

_Dang, did I really sleep all the way here?_ I looked around as dreary commuters roused from their dreams and rubbed their tired eyes.

"We will be reaching our destination in promptly twenty minutes. Be sure to exit the coach in an orderly fashion and be sure not to bring all of you belongings with you: if you don't want it, what makes you think we do?"

I wanted so badly to call Travis and tell him I had safely arrived but I knew by now that my parents, Parker, Travis, Robbie, Ray (and probably even Grace) were in my living room with the town sheriff patiently waiting a phone call or my arrival. I'm sure Travis was off to himself contemplating telling my parents of my whereabouts. I didn't want to tip my parents off that Travis was being dishonest so I figured I would wait until I reached Elliot Ridge and email him from an internet café.

I had the strangest dream. I wish Travis was here with me. He could interpret it for me. Maybe it would even help me figure some things out about why I am running away. I hate this. I am running away. I have always been the rational one: helping others to face their problems. Why, when my friends needed me most, did I run out on them?

Maybe I should just write down my dream while I remember it and email it to Travis later.

Lily pulled her spiral and a pen out of her backpack and began writing…

"_I was running around this Egyptian like maze, probably inspired from one of the video games I play, and it was slowly flooding with water. I was running around, trying to get out or trying to track something or someone down and I ran into a room of Borg... but they weren't really Borg. I start fighting this Borg and he was swinging and I was ducking, and I started to feel overwhelmed, like I knew it wouldn't end particularly well. I looked down and only to see flames swimming under the water. Just as I look up at the impending blow from the Borg, it flares from the water and saves my ass. The scared Borg scampered away when the flames engulf his legs. I walked out of the room in a daze and entered another room and just as a bunch of Star Trek the Next Generation characters came running in the driver woke us up with his announcement._

I put away the spiral and got ready to get off the bus and watched as we passed people in the streets on their way to work. Sandy over here was probably off to her job at Mary Kay and Joe over here on his way to the office. They had it good. The truth is I have it good too. Family and friends back home… so why am I here?

"Welcome to Elliot Ridge, Ontario," announced the driver.

Finally.

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Wow it seemed so much longer when I was writing it. R and R and it might motivate me to write the naxt chapter sooner. 


	3. First 20 Minutes in Elliot Ridge

**Disclaimer: I OWN RADIO FREE ROSCOE… okay not really… but what did you expect?

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_ShadysLane: haha thanks! _

_Ali-Chan1: you'll have to wait and find out. _

_Allie-Dee: hooray for random dreams!_

_Mr. Wallace: thanks! Looks like you get another chapter!_

_Bandgeek4ever: THANKS TIMES 2!_

_Beautiful22: Thanks you!

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I have an aunt in Elliot Ridge that I would visit with Ray and Robbie for a week every summer as a child. That seems like so long ago now… back when life was simple. We used to go in July, just in time to see the fireworks of the forth in the big city, across the skyline. We would climb onto the roof of her two story house in suburbia with a bag of chips or go to the mall (something we don't have in Roscoe) and shop or see a movie. It was so nice to get out of Roscoe; away from the public pool and the video arcade, the smells and the sounds. It was always nice to get away but by the end of the week I missed our weeknight homework sessions at Mickey's and secret meetings of the "Cool Club" in Ray's tree house (I mean tree fort).

I haven't seen my aunt Michelle in three or four years; not since we were in elementary school and my friends had a week in the summer to just skip town. Michelle is two and a half years older than my mom, Simone, yet she is so much cooler. She lets me do as I wish and she is the kind of person who is so clueless she wouldn't bother to ask why I was paying a surprise visit after all these years… or why my family wasn't with me. I always wondered why she never had kids of her own because she would be a great mother. I could just show up at her door with no questions asked. I would be granted a bed, food, and a washing machine. I just hope I can find her house.

The bus halted to a stop in front of this small bus stop. This was so cool. Things didn't look the way I left them. Time had passed me by like I was living in one of C.S. Lewis's fantasies.

I made my way over to an information center and looked up Michelle's address to find she lived in the same house. I called a taxi from the pay phone and sat at the corner waiting for it to arrive. I set my stuff down next to me on the sidewalk and a few people tossed coins at me. Maybe they thought it would make me play my guitar but when I just looked at them they lost interest and walked away. Oh well, they just paid for the phone call.

After about twenty minutes of sitting on the cold pavement, a taxi slowed to a stop in front of the bus stop and held up a small dry erase board that said "Lilly" on it. Great. I hate when people spelled my name wrong. I stood up and made my way over to the cab.

"Perfect, another musician running away to find fame and fortune," the bus driver commented to himself.

"We have a comedian on our hands," I replied as I wiped one of the Ls off of his chalk board and climbed into the cab.

This'll be an interesting ride.

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**man i really need to work on the length of my stories... because this chapter is REALLY short. gah!**


	4. Iced Tea and Lonely Regrets

**Why do I even bother with disclaimers?**

_Allie-Dee: still short but i feel better about it now thanks to you. _

_Bandgeek4ever: thanks!_

AN: Just a bitter sweet taste…

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"Man, I've missed this place." Lily said to herself as she paid the driver and climbed out of the beaten cab in front of the familiar house in suburbia. As soon as her feet struck the pavement she knew she was home.

I wish the guys were here.

When my aunt saw me behind the heavy red door, she greeted me as if I'd only been gone a couple hours. She let me in, took my stuff to the guest room, and I plopped my ass down on the big blue suede couch in front of the television.

"What're you in for?" she asked me as she handed me a glass of iced tea.

_I'm running away…_ "I needed a break," I lied. _I bet she can see right through me. I bet my mom already called her. I bet my mom wants her to drill me. What will she ask first?_

"It's not like your mother to not call." _She said it so innocently. Maybe she doesn't know. Maybe I'm thinking too much. Maybe I should just tell her the truth. _

_She doesn't know I'm here. _"I guess it slipped her mind."_ What is wrong with me?_

"Should I call her?"

_No, she probably has the National Guard surrounding our house. _"That's okay, I'll just go e-mail her and tell her I'm here and safe. Thanks by the way for letting me stay here." _I wonder if she'll buy that._

"Okay, you know where the computer is." _Wow…she bought it!_

I wasn't going to e-mail my mom. The only person I wanted to talk to was Travis. I had to tell him about my dream.

I got out my journal and typed up my dream for him to analyze. I turned back a page and saw something I wrote down a couple days before reading and thought I should share that with Travis as well….

…I use to fit in. I use to feel accepted in my family and group of friends for who I am (or was). My family is too small. My house is too small. My life is too small and my ambitions too big. I'm suffocating. They yell at me. They tell me I can do what I want; be what I want. They give me what I want and tell me they will help me get there. But what if what I want isn't what I wanted? Now all I want is what I can never achieve. You can't give that to me. Did you then fail me? Did I fail you?

**SEND.**

Man I'm gonna regret this.


	5. Travis' Reply

To: "Lily Randall" punkrockprincessyahoo.ca  
Subject: LILY!

Lily! You have everyone so worried! You're parents haven't slept in three days. I'm really starting to worry about them. They have bags under their eyes, coffee mugs in their hands, and are walking around like zombies. A criminal could run through the house and take everything and your parents wouldn't look up from the phone.

We haven't had a show since you left either. We used to be able to hold down the fort without you when we knew you were safe at home working on a homework assignment or "getting your CD back from Mickey" but this time is deferent. I am the only one who knows you left on your own. Hello, you are Lily Randall, the girl next door and the girl next door doesn't just run away. Your friends and parents are thinking the worst has happened. I keep consoling them, saying, "Come on guys, Lily couldn't have been kidnapped. Lily is alive." Most the time we don't even talk about it; we just sit around your house with our eyes fixed on either the news or the phone.

There have been cops all over Roscoe looking for you. They wanted to know if there was anywhere you might be. Ray almost told him about the station but caught himself at the last minute. Robbie told them you might be at Mickey's or the observation deck, the park or Parker's house but they knew you weren't in any of those places because those were the first places they looked when you didn't come home Wednesday night.

Ray actually admitted that he misses you. He doesn't want the last thing you guys talked about to be Grace. He still loves you Lily. Don't tell me that's not why your running because you know it is. You are running away because your relationship didn't work. Do you know what people like that are called? Cowards, Lily.

As far as I can tell, Lily, The borgs in your dream are Ray and your obstacles; the things you have dodged for so long. They are finally catching up to you, Lilster. The maze is your life and you are trying to find your way but instead of thinking it through logically, you chose to run whichever way seems to be the quick fix but you get stuck. Lily, you are the water and the flame is the desire inside you to change your ways and find a new road to follow (eventually saving you from your spiraling decline).

I seriously think you little rant was just a cry for help. You CAN do whatever you want but running will NOT get you what you want… The only one who has failed you is yourself but you, Lily have failed everyone you left behind.

Trust me Lily; I know what a broken heart feels like. It feels like a part of you has died and that the world should stop but it doesn't. You have to keep a smile on your face like nothing is wrong. I've been there. It's not fun but it was something I had to do and so do you. Just come home. I hate seeing Robbie and Ray and Parker and your parents like this.

I love you Lily,  
Mister T.


	6. Don’t let Her Slip Away

**Disclaimer: Boo! I don't own RFR.

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AN: I know a lot of time has passed between the previous chapter and this one but since the final episode is tomorrow I have decided to end this story. You can fill in the blanks yourselves but please tell me what you think.

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Travis' POV

I squinted to see that familiar figure flee from the cab, her vacation had been good to her- the bags evanescent from her eyes, her (once) red, runny, nose back to normal, and her girlish, rock star chirp back in tact. Lily was absent from Roscoe for five whole weeks and I missed her more with each passing day. My ears craved her soft, sweet voice and my eyes longed for her simple, sarcastic smile. Even though I love Parker more and more as time goes by, I secretly regret my time away from Lily.

Mr. and Mrs. Randall leapt from their chairs at the kitchen table before even a small smile could escape from my lips at the sight of her. Lily asked me weeks ago to inform her parents and friends of her whereabouts but only under the condition the Ray didn't find out. She wanted Ray to miss her. She wanted him to hurt as much as she did… and he did. He missed his best friend more than he cherished his time with Grace. It was deeply evident in Grace's eyes that she knew she'd lost him. Ray had no choice but to feel like dying because his world was abruptly ripped away from him. He could choose to make things right with Grace but instead he hung her out to dry. Lily single-handedly destroyed the poor boy. Maybe that is what she wanted and possibly what she planned but either way it is sickening to sit and watch a good guy lose everything.

As much as her parents didn't want to let her go, as much as they cried in her hair, as much as they whispered soft sentences in her ears, and as much safety as she felt in their arms, she broke free of their gripping embrace to allow me to greet her. I wanted to hug her so badly and she could feel it- like undeniable chemistry.

She dropped her bags, glided through the air, and squeezed me in a great bear hug that shocked my senses, tingled my spine, and spread like wildfire to my fingers, toes, and ends of my hairs. Late summer's sun and warmth felt amazing as it shimmered on her tan skin and highlighted hair. This summer was good to my Lily and it is visible in everything about her. As I spun her through the air I told myself, "Don't let her slip away a third time…"

I felt her falling away and the strong, auto-piloted voice in my head subsided. A new one soon took its place… "Let her go," it demanded. I glanced over my shoulder to see Ray skidding to a halt on his bike. Lately, since RFR and No Man's Land were on hiatus, we spent our afternoons in the Randalls' basement. Ray was on his way over when we saw her.

His eyes met hers and his legs gave in. He fell off his bike and his left side took a hard blow on the concrete. I'm not quite sure he believed what he saw and the look in his eyes told me he was scared of the conversation to come and probably relieved that his best friend was safe. I stepped back and locked my eyes on Lily's and her eyes told me to step aside so I did and nodded in Ray's direction.

She strolled his way. She took her time and when she finally reached him, she kneeled down to where he lay sprawled out on the street. It was early in the morning so she knew no cars would be driving through the neighborhood. She lay down next to him and closed her eyes and Ray shifted so he could watch her, They didn't attempt to touch each other or hold hands; they didn't even speak. Ray smiled and closed his eyes and I knew everything was as it should be. Robbie ran from the house yelling, causing Lily to sit up. He hugged her so hard I thought her breath would stop.

Parker walked up behind me and wrapped her arms around me allowing me to let out the biggest smile I've ever experienced. WE stood and watched as three best friends were reunited. They laughed and joked like she was never gone and I, the loner, watched from a distance.


End file.
